Respect that people grieve in different ways. “Quiet grief” is no less grief than tearful grief. Honor their loss and their grief, even if you aren’t an “animal person” and don’t share it.

• Meet them where they are.
• Listen without judging or giving advice.
• Welcome their stories (even if they tell them more than once) and share your own reminiscences.
• Make a memorial donation to an animal charity in their pet’s name.
• Paint a picture. Write a poem. Frame a photo.
• Send a note. (No, an email won’t do.)
• Do what you would do for someone who lost a family member: sit quietly with them, listen, send a card, offer to run errands (or offer to take them on their errands), help them take care of themselves by preparing a meal, inviting them on a walk,….

What to say to someone who has lost a pet

• I’m sorry.
• How can I help?
• I’m here if you need me.
• Tell me a favorite story about Oscar.
• Say “Lucky,” or “Fidget” or “Socrates” rather than “your dog.”

What NOT to say or do:

• “I know how you feel. I lost Rover…” and launch into your story. This isn’t about you.
• “He’s better off now.”
• “You can get another.”
• “It isn’t like you lost a family member.”
• Hurry your friend into removing the physical accoutrements of their pet (giving away their bed, dish, toys).