WHEN IS THE BEST TIME?
Lapoflove.com has this to say:
“We often see an interesting trend that we did not expect when starting our hospice practice. The more times families experience the loss of a pet, the sooner they make the decision to euthanize. Owners experiencing a pet’s decline or terminal illness for the first time will generally wait until the very end to make the difficult euthanasia decision. They are fearful of euthanizing their pet too soon, and giving up without a good fight. Afterward, however, most of these owners regret waiting too long. They reflect back on the past days, weeks, or months, and feel guilty for putting their pet through numerous veterinary trips, or uncomfortable medical procedures that did not improve their pet’s quality of life. The next time, they recognize their pet’s decline, and are more likely to make the decision at the beginning rather than the end of the decline.”
STRICTLY MY OPINION
Will your pet give you a clear sign? We’d all like a bell-clear pronouncement, and many owners who are closely tuned to their pet’s behavior say their pet told them clearly, “It’s time.”
But don’t depend on it. Listen to what his behavior is telling you because it is the best voice your pet has. But waiting for an unambiguous signal that may never come can needlessly prolong suffering for both you and your pet.
Decide which is better for your pet – a day too soon or a day too late? If you are having this discussion with your vet, it probably means you are talking about hastening death by hours or days, not weeks or months. Those hours or days are likely to be filled with pain and anxiety. Is a longer but pain-filled life your goal for your pet? More pet owners say “I waited too long” than say “I did it too soon.”
You are not a bad person if you choose to euthanize your pet.
WILL YOUR PET TELL YOU IT'S TIME?
We’d all like a bell-clear pronouncement, some kind of sign, but we can’t depend on getting it. Listen to what your pet’s behavior is telling you because it is the best voice your pet has. But waiting for an unambiguous signal that may never come can needlessly prolong suffering for both you and your pet.
Dr. Andy Roark, DVM, reminds us that our pets live in the moment. They don’t recall that great day chasing waves at the beach, nor do they look forward to the next one. All that matters to them is this moment, and if their “moment” is one of suffering…. He further writes that speaking your thoughts aloud or writing them down can help as you struggle with this decision:
If this were me, how much treatment would I want?
Why do I think it might be the right time to euthanize?
What are my fears and concerns about euthanizing?
Whose interests, besides those of my pet, am I taking into account?
What are the concerns of the people around me?
Am I making this decision because it is best for my pet, or because it is best for me because I’m not ready to let go?
Another approach, from Lisa Havelin, MA, MFA, LAMFT, is to have a conversation with your pet. Plan for a quiet time and place in which you won’t be disturbed. Be open to thoughts, emotions, body sensations, images, and intuitions.
What have they meant to you?
What you are grateful for?
What you would like to apologize for?
What you know about their condition and that it is not going to get better.
That euthanasia is an option for them.
What are you struggling with?
What do you have questions about?
That you are waiting for them to give you a sign.
That even though you will be very sad when they are gone, you will be OK, and it is OK for them to go.
All the named animals pictured in this blog were someone’s treasured pet. They may have crossed the Rainbow Bridge, but their absence makes them no less beloved.
I may not know what tomorrow will bring, but today I have you.